I’m having a bad animal day

Posted: April 28, 2009 in Uncategorized

If I could have caught any of them this morning I would now be pet free. Unfortunately, I am not a morning person and cannot move that fast let alone  say anything comprehensible.

I woke up, gods only know what time, to cat vomit in my bed. Not on my bed. In my bed. BETWEEN.THE.SHEETS! Ew!

How did my female cat (she’s the only one who pukes on an almost regular basis) get the cat puke BETWEEN the sheets while I was sleeping?

Understand this….it was between the sheets. Not on the comforter, not on the top sheet, but on the bottom sheet at the bottom of the bed. WTF???

So, I have to get up and clean it up by pulling the sheets off and putting them in the washer.  Oh, I stepped in some cat puke on the floor, too. Now I’m roaring with anger. *sigh*

I’m up now so I start the whole morning process. Pee, turn the alarm off, let dog out, feed cats (who keep trying to trip me and get in my way…good thing they’re faster than me), and  feed the dog when she gets back in.

Then I fix my coffee.

While its brewing I go to the bathroom to wash up, decat the sink (because, of course, now she wants a drink), yell at the boys with my toothbrush in my mouth because they are fighting and almost kill myself by tripping over my Yorkie.

I scream in rage and they scatter. It’s a good thing they can run faster than I can react first thing in the morning. I am NOT a morning person. They should know this by now.

I wonder if you can add onions to cat stew? Maybe a dash of catnip for flavor?  The tricky part is luring her close enough to catch her. She’s too smart and way too fast. I may have to bring out the tuna and see if I can lure her to her death, er, I mean, my loving arms.

The dog will be much easier because she loves those bacon dog treats. Heh! She’ll do anything for food. The boys will be easy, too. But it’s the genius of the lot who will be hard to catch. hmmmmm……

I’ll keep you posted on any recipes I come up with for cat stew. How about a Yorkie meat pudding? Tomcat roast? I’ll let you know.

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